Inspiration

Many people have a sacred place where they go to find peace and receive answers to their problems. A few weeks I found this peace while I was at the temple, the most sacred of places for those who share my beliefs.

For a few months I have been part of a Life Coaching group The last few months while serving in the temple I have been using the principles we have been studying in the coaching sessions. I have been striving to greet all whom I meet with love in my heart, and I have smiled at every person I have come in contact with.

At first some people seemed skeptical and reserved, but It hasn’t taken very long for them to feel how genuine my love for them is. In a very short period of time many of them have told me that my smile was beautiful and made their day. Many have shared their stories and experiences with me and are starting to greet me as they would an old friend. It’s been a very rich and satisfying experience.

I have always felt that love was something we can’t live without, more important that food or shelter is the need for love. This morning I sat alone in the most beautiful of all rooms in the temple looking at a painting of Jesus Christ. He is my ultimate example of one who exemplifies love to all. As I thought of him I felt a greater desire to be like Him, and truly love everyone. Something very powerful happened to me. I instantly felt His love for me. I have felt it before, but this time it was overwhelming.

Many thoughts flooded my mind. I realized that it’s easy for me to love others, but the thing that holds me back the most is my inability to love myself. It’s so easy for me to see the good in others and so hard to see the good in myself. I remember hearing that the qualities we see in others are also in us. As I thought of this I realized that I am surrounded with amazing, gifted, incredible people. These people wouldn’t choose my companionship if I didn’t share some of their good qualities.

I then felt richly blessed by great friends and family. Two distinct conversations I recently had with some of these great people was brought to my memory. I remembered them sharing their feelings about me, and the gifts and qualities I have that they admire. I realized that these amazing people can see who I really am. They see me as my creator does, yet it’s hard for me to see myself the way they do.

At that moment I realized that I am divinely designed with every attribute and quality I need. I have been summing myself up to others who were designed with different qualities and gifts. I realized that my creator loves me just how I am. He made me perfect. I don’t need to try to be someone else. It’s painful trying to be like someone else, and there’s no need to do that when I have everything I need to succeed within myself. I realized that some of the qualities I see in others are also hidden in me. I may have suppressed them, minimized them, or been unwilling to share them with others, but I have all the gifts and talents I need already.

I thought of the new friends that I have made while serving in the temple who have come out of the shadows because of the love I have shown them. They are excited to greet me and they are drawn to me. This has only happened because I chose to show them love. Today I was taught that I now need to extend that same love to myself. If I can start loving myself for who I truly am, divinely designed, I too will come out of the shadows and thrive. I will be able to be a happier and more successful person.

I am so thankful for this gift today. 30 minutes alone in that beautiful and peaceful place opened my heart to the inspiration and love that I needed. What a blessing God's love for each of us truly is!

The Beauty of Aging

I’m going to say something that may sound unbelievable. I actually like aging. The older I get the more I like myself, the more comfortable I am in my own skin, and the more I love life. It sounds like an oxymoron, or perhaps a paradox considering the person I see in the mirror, a person with wrinkles and ever increasing gray hair emerging from my head. I look at myself and see that I am no longer young, cute, or fit, yet I am more comfortable and confident than I was when I had more visual assets. I honestly mean it.

It’s funny how much less I liked myself when I was young and seemed to have more going for myself than now. It has taken me years to accept the person that has always been hidden within. I used to think that to be adequate I needed to be perfect, to be thinner, and to look better. The list went on and on. No matter how good I looked, or how good a person I tried to be, it was never good enough to live up to my own expectations. It’s really quite funny that now, of all times, when I’ve passed my days of youth, that I am finally comfortable with who I have become. Funny that now—at middle age—I have finally found out who I really am and I like what I’ve found. I have finally accepted who I am. I now can see that I always have been adequate. I just couldn’t clearly see who I was. One blessing of aging is seeing things more clearly. Experiences gained have taught me so much. Each year of my life has provided new opportunities for growth and understanding.

One day my sister and I were in the food line at Wendy’s. We were talking about her cruise and how much fun it had been. We decided that although we are older and no longer look as good as when we were young that it would be really fun to take a cruise and lounge on a beach. We agreed that we don’t need to worry what anyone thinks about us because nobody is looking any more anyways. It was funny because as one of us said that, a guy in the line in front of us—while trying not to let us see that he was looking—very carefully checked us out over his sunglasses. He just had to see what the women who said that might look like. It gave us a good laugh. So maybe I’m all wrong and people are still looking, but I just don’t care anymore, because I like myself, and that’s good enough for me. I am learning to enjoy life on my terms, not the terms and expectations society has set for me.

I love the confidence gained by living life. I love being able to look back a few years and compare my younger self to me now. Through this new found light I can see what I have learned, the experiences I have had, and the people I have been blessed to know. And I wouldn’t take back any of it to be young again. I like where I am now.

For once I can honestly see beauty in aging. I can see wisdom in a wrinkles face, and experience in gray hair, in wrinkly hands I see the labors of a life well spent. Old people are beautiful. The way they look shows that they have lived a life worth living, a life of meaning, a life that has meant something to someone else.

I have now most likely passed the middle point of my life. It’s probable that more than half of my life is over, but I’m at the prime of my life at 45. I am just where I want to be. I might be at the top of the hill, but I’m at a place where I can clearly see the view from both sides of the peak. Looking behind me I see where I came from, looking straight ahead I see that I am exactly where I want to be, and looking ahead I see many more opportunities await me as I venture down the other side of the peak. There is much more life to live.

"Mom, Do You Like Yourself?"

I have always felt pretty good about who I am as a person. I’m not overly confident, but I do like who I am. One day when my son Ryan was little he came up to me and said, “Mom, do you like yourself? You know you need to like yourself and be your own best friend, because you can never get away from yourself.” What a wise observation for a little child. Ryan was right. We do need to like ourselves because we can never get away from ourselves, at least not for long. We eventually have to admit that there are things we don’t like about ourselves and try to fix them.

I have learned that we can love, serve, try to keep the commandments, and be charitable and honest people. But even with the best of intentions, sometimes we have to admit that we just aren’t as great as we thought we were. It’s hard to admit that we have let someone down or neglected them, sinned, or simply just weren’t as good as we should have been. It’s an ugly realization.

Thank goodness that at these times there is someone who loves us enough to take up the slack for us. God knew when He sent us to earth that there would be times when we just wouldn’t be as strong, or good, or pure as we wanted to be, meant to be.

We can try hard, but sometimes it just isn’t enough. For this purpose God provided a Savior for us who loved us enough to atone for our sins and shortcomings. He has already paid the debt, we just need to believe and accept the gift.

There are times when we must admit that we aren’t as great as we meant to be or thought we were. When we find that we have fallen flat on our face Jesus Christ is there to pick us up, clean us off, and put us back on the path. He can make us whole again and help us to do better and fix what is broken.

Often in my life I have fallen short and had to rely on the merits of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to fill in the gap.

One of my favorite scriptures is Alma 22:18. Aaron was teaching Lamoni’s father about God and how to pray. He then wanted to commit his life to God. In his first prayer he said, “…I will give away all my sins to know thee…” I echo his feelings. I too want to give away all my sins to know Him.