The Gift of Giving

I read a book review for a book called, "29 Gifts: How a month of giving can change your life".

Here is Amazon's description of the book:

~~~ At age thirty-five, Cami Walker was burdened by a battle with multiple sclerosis, a chronic neurological condition that made it difficult for her to walk, work, or enjoy her life. Seeking a remedy for her depression after being hospitalized, she received an uncommon prescription from an African medicine woman: Give to others for 29 days.

29 Gifts is the insightful story of the author’s life change as she embraces and reflects on the naturally reciprocal process of giving and receiving. Many of Walker’s gifts were simple —a phone call, spare change, a Kleenex. Yet the acts were transformative. By Day 29, not only had Walker’s health and happiness improved, but she had created a worldwide giving movement.

The book also includes personal essays from others whose lives changed for the better by giving, plus pages for the reader to record their own journey. More than a memoir, 29 Gifts offers inspiring lessons on how a simple daily practice of altruism can dramatically alter your outlook on the world. ~~~

I haven't actually read the book, but I decided to take the challenge. It's been a month since I started focusing on doing something nice for someone everyday. Even it's just making a phone call, sending a letter, or giving a compliment when it comes to my mind, I'm trying. It's teaching me to think of someone besides myself. I don't always succeed and often do things without really thinking about them--things that I should be doing anyway--but I'm getting better at it. And I've learned that making a face to face contact if possible makes a big difference to someone who is lonely!

Sometimes we feel like we need to give large amounts of money or time to make a difference. But often it's the SMALL things that make a BIG difference as we reach out to "The One". We all need to start somewhere! It may be letting the elderly gentlemen go before us in the grocery line, letting a car go in front of us in a line of traffic, helping someone open a door, being patient with someones screaming child, or giving a heartfelt compliment when it comes to our minds.

We often don't give ourselves credit for the good things we do. We compare ourselves to others and feel inadequate if we aren't like them. Writing down my actions and plans to serve has helped me realize that I do more good than I thought. My heart has always been in the right place, I just got distracted from what matters the most--people!

I haven't done anything big, but since I have committed to this experiment I feel really good! I've made contact with old friends, spent more time with extended family, and have become more aware of people's needs. I've been writing down my actions and it's amazing to realize that I often go beyond one deed a day without ever planning to.

Recording these things has helped me evaluate my strengths and weaknesses. I realize that I have a lot of improvement to make, but I'm on my way! I'm really comfortable serving in my extended family, but I need to have more courage to branch out to neighbors, ward members, and strangers. There are many people to serve and much good to do in the world!

One magical thing that I have noticed is that now I look forward to random acts of service and find joy in planning and carrying out deeds of kindness. Of course, my good intentions still outweigh my actions, but I'm starting to remember who I used to be and how I used to think! It feels like I have been so preoccupied and busy every minute of my day for so long that I had forgotten how to be spontaneous and thoughtful. I haven't been a horrible person, but I have been too distracted and spent too much time on things that didn't matter. This experiment has been fun and it's jump started my goal of learning to serve again.

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. ~ Mosiah 2:17

Freedom of Speech is Paramount to Liberty

“If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.”~ George Washington

This nation was founded on Christian principles and is unlike any other in the world. The Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights set us apart from all other nations. The First Amendment to the Bill of Rights states that we will not be prohibited from freedom of Speech, Press, Religion, Assembly, and Freedom to Petition.

Likewise, the gospel of Jesus Christ allows us freedom to choose. Yet our freedom of speech is on the chopping block and we regularly see cases in the media where these freedoms seem to be swept under the rug to cater to those who only believe in free speech from their point of view. All across America conservative people are being attacked for their beliefs. Those who speak in contrast to the liberal bias are being persecuted for not following the masses.

My own freedom of speech was recently challenged when I posted an Internet comment that was perceived as being offensive because it was conservative in nature. I found myself in a firestorm and was told to never again post anything that may offend that persons liberal friends’. Nothing has EVER felt so un-American to me in my entire life! I have also had friends reported on social networking sites for posting Christian thoughts.

At times I too don’t agree with someone's opinion on political or social issues, but I respect their God given right to their opinion. If I don’t like what someone is saying or posting I simply don’t read or listen to it. But I would never dare tell them they weren’t entitled to that God given right no matter how much I disagree with their point of view. I believe it’s against God’s law to take away the freedom of others!

Carrie Prejean, Miss California, was in the Miss USA Pageant. During the question and answer session she was asked,

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage (followed by cheering). Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?” Her answer was, “I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anyone out there.”

She was booed and lost the pageant. She also lost her job because of her answer. She was punished for exercising her God given right to freedom of speech. People have tried to silence, embarrass and humiliate her for her statement. They have publicized her past moral indiscretions and called her a hypocrite. Her opinion on this topic isn’t the point. The point is—someone shouldn’t be punished for sharing their opinion on an issue! In our society it seems that it’s not okay to express your opinion if it’s a conservative one, but it is okay to call conservative people horrible names and persecute them for their opinions.

In an interview on the Today Show she said,

“There is an extreme double standard out there that conservative woman (people) are under attack. ..If Sean Hannity went out there and said some of the things that Keith Olbermann has said about me…if he said things about Sonia Sotomayor or Michelle Obama, he would be off the air. Why is there this double standard?”

It’s so true! People are welcome to mock and persecute some while forbidden to do so to others. There is a lesson to be learned in this though. What history has demonstrated time and again is that those who so eagerly take away the freedoms of their opponents eventually find that they too have lost their freedom as well. The old adage, “What goes around, comes around” is right.

“Without Freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as Wisdom; and no such thing as public Liberty, without Freedom of speech” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Miracles and Blessings

Just in case you’ve ever wondered, miracles do still happen! I have witnessed several things this week that I consider to be a miracle and I thank God for blessing us with miracles in our lives! I know that as we pray in faith our prayers are answered and that the temple prayer rolls are a great resource and blessing to us if we will use them and believe!

First, last week someone I am close to had a really bad infection with serious symptoms. She knew she would have to see a doctor and get on an antibiotic to get better, but having no insurance she requested a Priesthood blessing first. In the blessing she was told that the infection would leave her body quickly. She was ill for several hours and then without any medical care she was healed through the power of the Priesthood. A marvelous power is at our fingertips if we just have faith and call on the elders to bless us. I wonder how many times in my life I have suffered through illness when if I had first asked for a blessing I may have been spared so much suffering. Not that we won’t have to go through illness or take medicine—because it’s often necessary—but I know that God does have the power to heal all that ails us if necessary!

Second, I know a young man who knew he might lose his job. With faith he and his wife fasted, prayed, and attended the temple. His name was placed on the temple prayer roll. In an unlikely turn of events he was blessed with the work of his choice and offered a benefits package. With all those who are losing their jobs right now I know this was a blessing and a miracle for this faithful young couple!

And lastly, this may sound really strange, but last weekend on a little vacation I saw a teenage boy who was horribly disfigured. His head was shaped unlike any I have ever seen. His face was frightening to look at. If a human being could resemble a monster, that is what he looked like. He was with his mother and I could tell that he was very important to her and that she loved him dearly. He seemed gentle and kind in his communication with her. Some might say he was a freak of nature, an accident. But when I looked at him I realized that he was a miracle. I could tell that the very fact that he was a living, breathing soul was a miracle to his family and all who loved him. I knew that God loved him just the way he was!

It is comforting to me to remember that God does love us. He knows what is going on in our lives and what we need, and He can perform miracles to help us in times of need—if we will just see—and believe!

Confessions of a Woman Without a Paycheck

After working full-time for several years I resigned from my high stress job. If I hadn't had such a strong confirmation that it was the right thing to do it may have been a hard decision to make.

You may ask, "Why would you give up a fairly high paying job with great benefits in this economy?" I know people have thought it even if they haven’t said it. It's only been two weeks and already I can tell you why. It’s true I am making no money, but I wake up excited to be alive EVERY day!

One of the best things about being home is having time to REALLY think about what matters most in life, and to start getting my priorities straight.

I have had time to reconnect with people I care about, make cookies and give them away and call old friends to visit or wish them happy birthday.I have been able to check on our parents every day, play with my grand baby and record things in a journal. I have helped someone I care about catch up on their housework, cooked real meals for my family, and have given rides to someone who doesn’t have a car. I have read four books and started studying gospel teaching that are important to me. I have started organizing and repairing things in my home and finally feel hopeful that eventually it will be the kind of home I can be proud to live in, a haven of refuge where everyone feels welcome and will love to be no matter how simple and humble it may be. I have had some really great conversations with my kids unlike some in the past that were all too often carried on while I was preoccupied with an activity that had a deadline. I have been able to spend time with my husband and look forward to being spontaneous like I used to be, running off on some wilderness adventure of his making! It has been great building relationships with sisters I have been close to in the past, and working on building one with a sister I never knew while growing up, but am already learning to love just like the rest!

I know everyone doesn’t have the opportunity to work at home so I feel SO blessed! I love life! I love having time to work on things that are truly important. I have thanked God every day that I was blessed to be home when my kids were little. Those were the happiest days of my life and I wouldn’t trade them for any amount of money. And once again I thank Him to be working at home. I know I don’t have any little people who are here depending on me, but I have pledged to be useful to God and others with this gift I have been given—the gift of time.

Yes, there are many things to add to my to-do list. I need to improve on my Visiting Teaching, add in a fitness plan to improve my health, volunteer my time to serve others and many more things. But for now this is a good start and I am determined not to waste the thing I have come to appreciate the most lately—TIME!

Lessons from the Scriptures

Yesterday in Sunday School the instructor asked people to share their favorite scriptures. My life has been so seriously impacted by the scriptures that I couldn’t be quiet or it would have felt like a sin not to share.

I have way too many favorites to choose just one, but I did. The ones that came to my mind weren’t necessarily my favorites, but rather scriptures that the Lord led me to in answer to prayer or to teach me something that I needed to understand.

2 Nephi 2:1-2 is where Lehi knew he was about to die and gave blessings to all his children. In these verses he said:

And now, Jacob, I speak unto you: Thou art my first-born in the days of my tribulation in the wilderness. And behold, in thy childhood thou hast suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethren.

Nevertheless, Jacob, my first-born in the wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain.

Wow! He consecrates our afflictions for our gain! That means that our challenges are really a blessing. At the time of this teaching moment I was struggling to understand why one of my sons had such a difficult time with certain things when the same things came so easily for the other kids. It felt so unfair. I learned that the Lord didn’t give my son (or any of us) trials and challenges to make him suffer or to punish him, but to bless him.

I guess it does make sense that we need trials to make us strong. If everything came easy to us we would never be challenged or learn to overcome anything. The hard things we go through in life humble us so the Lord can shape us into people who are useful to Him. From the day I read this I came to understand that the Lord loved my son enough to give him challenges and trials so He could mold him to be the kind of man He needed him to be.

Another scripture that taught me a great lesson was found while doing home school and scripture study with my son while he was in junior high. We were reading in Moses 6 when the Lord came to Enoch and told him that He was angry with the people because their hearts had waxed hard and their ears were dull of hearing. He told Enoch to prophesy unto the people and to call them unto repentance. In verse 31 it says:

And when Enoch had heard these words, he bowed himself to the earth, before the Lord, and spake before the Lord, saying: Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of speech; wherefore am I thy servant?

And the Lord said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee. Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good.

My son could relate to this and mentioned that he had felt scared to speak to people too. We talked about it and looked up the footnotes and learned so much. Moses, Enoch, Jeremiah and other great prophets felt unqualified to do what the Lord asked them to do. They felt they were slow of speech, hated, dumb, having a slow tongue, and too young for the people to listen to them. The Lord knew otherwise and called them regardless.

In Exodus 4:10 even Moses felt inadequate when the Lord called on him:

And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

In verses 12 and 15 the Lord’s answer was:
Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth…and will teach you what ye shall do.

Moses was obedient and the Lord molded Moses into a great man.

In Jeremiah 1:6-9 Jeremiah told the Lord:

Then said I, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child.

But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.

Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord.

Then the Lord put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth.

I totally loved learning from theses scriptures that even the Lord’s chosen haven’t felt up to the task. The key is that they were willing to be obedient and let the Lord make of them what He knew they were capable of becoming.

Some of the greatest talks I have ever heard came from the mouths of humble people who didn't necessarily have great speaking skills, but instead were filled with the Spirit. That's what really matters.

President Monson said, “Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies.” I know this is true, for the Lord has called me to do things that were frightening to me and has taught me how to do them with His help. I hope to become more like Enoch, Moses, Jeremiah, and others who listened to the Lord and with faith put their fears aside and became a tool in the Lord’s hands!

A Great Example to All

A couple of days ago we attended the funeral of our niece. It was one of the most beautiful funerals that I have ever been to. It touched me deeply on many levels.

She was born with some handicaps that made her life different than others, but these disabilities perhaps increased her ability to love. All who spoke told of the impact her life had on them.

Her brother gave an incredible talk and reminded us that because she came to earth the way she did, that satan couldn’t touch her. She was innocent and wasn’t influenced by him. Like her mother told me on the phone, ‘She has her golden ticket, she’s got it made.” And it’s so true. She came to earth to do what she needed to do and she has succeeded and has now returned to her Heavenly Father to gain her reward. Her brother also said that because of her he was more understanding, less judgmental, a better father, son, husband, and friend.

Her sister asked the congregation if we knew anyone who didn’t worry about what everyone was thinking, didn’t care about the trends, someone who was genuine and loved everyone. That described this sweet girl. She loved everyone and didn’t get caught up in the world. What a great example to all of us!

I could tell from hearing her family speak that her life has been a huge blessing to each of them. She has helped them to stay grounded and love others like she did.

People feel such sorrow when a child is born with limitations. They focus on all the things that the child will not be able to do, and all the dreams that they had for the child that may never be realized. But I can see that in a way it is a thing to rejoice about. Children like this have it made. They come to teach us all how to love and how to live life to the fullest. We all focus way too much on what the world expects from us. We should be more like them and focus on what matters more, and that is being genuine, without guile, and full of love!

Thanks for being an awesome example to everyone who ever came in contact with you!

The Beauty of Aging

I’m going to say something that may sound unbelievable. I actually like aging. The older I get the more I like myself, the more comfortable I am in my own skin, and the more I love life. It sounds like an oxymoron, or perhaps a paradox considering the person I see in the mirror, a person with wrinkles and ever increasing gray hair emerging from my head. I look at myself and see that I am no longer young, cute, or fit, yet I am more comfortable and confident than I was when I had more visual assets. I honestly mean it.

It’s funny how much less I liked myself when I was young and seemed to have more going for myself than now. It has taken me years to accept the person that has always been hidden within. I used to think that to be adequate I needed to be perfect, to be thinner, and to look better. The list went on and on. No matter how good I looked, or how good a person I tried to be, it was never good enough to live up to my own expectations. It’s really quite funny that now, of all times, when I’ve passed my days of youth, that I am finally comfortable with who I have become. Funny that now—at middle age—I have finally found out who I really am and I like what I’ve found. I have finally accepted who I am. I now can see that I always have been adequate. I just couldn’t clearly see who I was. One blessing of aging is seeing things more clearly. Experiences gained have taught me so much. Each year of my life has provided new opportunities for growth and understanding.

One day my sister and I were in the food line at Wendy’s. We were talking about her cruise and how much fun it had been. We decided that although we are older and no longer look as good as when we were young that it would be really fun to take a cruise and lounge on a beach. We agreed that we don’t need to worry what anyone thinks about us because nobody is looking any more anyways. It was funny because as one of us said that, a guy in the line in front of us—while trying not to let us see that he was looking—very carefully checked us out over his sunglasses. He just had to see what the women who said that might look like. It gave us a good laugh. So maybe I’m all wrong and people are still looking, but I just don’t care anymore, because I like myself, and that’s good enough for me. I am learning to enjoy life on my terms, not the terms and expectations society has set for me.

I love the confidence gained by living life. I love being able to look back a few years and compare my younger self to me now. Through this new found light I can see what I have learned, the experiences I have had, and the people I have been blessed to know. And I wouldn’t take back any of it to be young again. I like where I am now.

For once I can honestly see beauty in aging. I can see wisdom in a wrinkles face, and experience in gray hair, in wrinkly hands I see the labors of a life well spent. Old people are beautiful. The way they look shows that they have lived a life worth living, a life of meaning, a life that has meant something to someone else.

I have now most likely passed the middle point of my life. It’s probable that more than half of my life is over, but I’m at the prime of my life at 45. I am just where I want to be. I might be at the top of the hill, but I’m at a place where I can clearly see the view from both sides of the peak. Looking behind me I see where I came from, looking straight ahead I see that I am exactly where I want to be, and looking ahead I see many more opportunities await me as I venture down the other side of the peak. There is much more life to live.

When All Is Said And Done

Today I read a talk by Elder Richard G. Hinckley, President Hinckley’s son. He said that about a few years ago President Hinckley married and sealed his 24th of 25 grandchildren in the Salt Lake Temple. It was the last sealing he performed before his death.

He said that during the ceremony President Hinckley said something with such force that he vowed to remember it always. He quietly said, “It has just occurred to me that I have sealed all five of my children and all 24 of my married grandchildren in this temple.” He then paused for a moment or two and concluded, “I think that is the finest thing I have ever done.”

His son said, “I thought of his 97 years, and of the tremendous, untiring efforts he had made to bring the kingdom forward in the earth, yet when all was said and done, just eight months before the end of his long and productive life, in the quiet privacy of that sealing room, he reflected that the finest thing he had ever done was to bind his family—his posterity—together for eternity.

After reading that I thought, what could be more important to us than our families? Nothing. He’s right, when all is said and done if we have succeeded within our own family, it will be our greatest accomplishment. If our family members love each other, live good lives, and stay together that will be the greatest thing we could have ever done. The most important things we do in our lives are within the walls of our own homes.

Sisters--One Of God's Greatest Gifts

From my perspective sisters are one of God’s greatest gifts to us. As the baby of the family I was blessed with incredible sisters who played a significant role in my life. They have always been there for me at the crossroads in my life. We have shared joys and sorrows; births and deaths. And we have helped carry each other’s burdens. We have had many unforgettable moments; blissful, exciting, joyful, and heartbreaking. These experiences have been unique and memorable with each sister and have bound us tightly together.

Last weekend I had a baby shower planned for my daughter-in-law but after breaking my leg I didn’t know if I could still hold the shower. Instead of cancelling, my sisters stepped in and helped my girls pull it off. They did a wonderful job complete with great food and fun! It made me remember a time about 20 years ago when I ripped all the ligaments in my ankle. I had two little children to care for and Robert worked long shift work hours. My sister offered to care for us. Each day on his way to work Robert would take us over to her house and she would babysit all three of us. I could do nothing for weeks but lie on her couch and let her tend and feed my boys. Last weekend I found myself once again the recipient of my sisters goodness.

We haven’t only shared hard times. We have also had a lot of fun and went on some great girl’s trips together...an East Coast tour to Washington D.C. and New York... a trip to Moab to hike in Arches National Park...a trip to Salt Lake City to shop, have a nice dinner, and watch a movie…and a flight to Seattle for a drive around the Olympic Peninsula and a ferry ride to Victoria, Canada.

Some of my favorite memories are the simple ones, like having birthday luncheons and going out to the movies together. I love just talking and laughing. And I love those crazy late nights when we get the giggles so bad. When sleep deprivation has made us so silly that we laugh about anything. One such moment was during our East Coast Tour. It was 1:30 in the morning and we had to get up at 5:00 am. We couldn’t stop laughing and mom asked us if she needed to spank us so we would go to sleep. This just made us laugh harder. These are moments I cherish.

So to my sisters, I love you. I appreciate you. I cherish you. And I thank you for everything!

The Middle Path Ends on the Road to Nowhere

In Jerry Johnston’s column in the Deseret News, August 23, 2008, he shared this advice from his father: “The middle way is a waste of time.” He was speaking about the area between good and evil—the gray space between black and white. “When the choices are black and white, life’s too short to choose gray.”

We need to know who we are and follow one path or the other; to choose God or the world. We can’t really be successful in-between the two; we can’t have both and be truly happy. It’s impossible to balance two things that oppose each other as much as God and the world.

When we live our lives looking for the best of both worlds, we get neither. To have one foot on God’s side of the fence and one foot in the world will only cause us to lose our balance or get high-centered on the fence post.

If we think we can be worldly while staying close to God we are mistaken. Spending too much time doing things of the world may very well push us farther away from God.
We must pick a side, commit to it, and get off the fence to find real happiness and balance in life.

Righteous Traditions

I recently gave a church lesson on righteous traditions. It made me realize how blessed my life has been because of the righteous traditions of my ancestors. Many of them were strong and determined pioneers who suffered many hardships to start a new life in a new land where they could follow the dictates of their own consciences. Their choices have affected my life in a positive way.

I am so grateful that the tradition of loving God was one they tradition they handed down to me. My grandma Olen was an amazingly spiritual woman. She was close to the Savior and acknowledged Him in all things. My mother followed her in this tradition and also taught us to love and trust God.

The way we live our daily lives shape our traditions. As parents the traditions we give our children will shape and influence their lives and the lives of their children as well. This makes the choices we make in our lives more significant and important than we may realize.

James E. Faust said, “Private choices are not private; they all have public consequences...Our society is the sum total of what millions of individuals do in their private lives. That sum total of private behavior has worldwide public consequences of enormous magnitude. There are no completely private choices.”

I think it’s easy to believe that our choices will only affect us, but this is so wrong. Our decisions affect everyone around us in some way, especially our own children, so it’s important to make good ones.

I learned a good lesson from a friend about the value of tradition. One day I asked her why she was still canning green bean when she was so busy and she could buy them for 50 cents a can. She said it was so she could pass on the tradition to her children. What a valuable lesson. It made me realize that no matter how busy I am I should never be too busy to pass on important traditions taught to me by my parents.

There are many traditions that make our lives more meaningful. When I was little we had family home evening on Monday nights with our cousins. My mom took us to our grandma’s or aunt’s houses. I never realized as a child that she did this for us. I’m sure after a long hard day at work that she probably didn’t always want to go, but she did it so we could have that tradition.

Then mom created a great tradition for her grandchildren. When all of our kids were small she had a Christmas party for her grandchildren, sending them an invitation in the mail. All year long she collected gifts for her party and on that special day they were all displayed in her bedroom with the door closed. One name at a time was drawn out and in turn each child got to pick out gifts. But these gifts weren’t for the kids, they were for their parents.

She was teaching them to love giving. They were so excited for that party where they could think of someone besides themselves. And through her party she was giving gifts to us—her children and our spouses. Of course she always had a little gift for each grandchild, but the focus was always on the giving they would be doing. After all the gifts were wrapped she always had a craft, cookie decorating, or something fun to end the party.

I am so thankful for righteous and joyous family traditions. They have made my life great!

A Mother's Love

A mother’s love is in every fiber of her being, every strand of her heart,
It hurts to see her child struggle and it hurts when someone breaks their heart.

A mother’s love can heal most sorrow, comfort, nurture, reassure,
It can take away the pain life brings, because it’s greater than anything.

A mother’s faith is also great and can heal, if it’s the Father’s will,
But when it’s not, her faith is still true, and she does as the Father expects her to do.

She submits to one on high who knows all things, the reasons why,
And gives her child back to Him, who calls us home when He sees fit.

But still she doubts, and her heart stings, she wishes she could change some things,

The sorrow of a broken heart like this, a mother should not have to bear.

To love a child, to nurture, to care, then to be asked to let go,
Is more than one should dare to ask, a mother who loves her child so.

But since it’s Father up above who asks of her in His great love,
A mother says, “Thy will be done,” and says goodbye to her son.

In faith she knows she will see him again, because of the Father’s plan,
So she will wait, and pray for the faith to go on, until she will meet him again.

(Written by me for my sister after the death of her teenage son)

Judge Not

In Luke 6:37 we are taught not to judge. I was just reminded why. It’s very painful to have someone place judgment on you or how you are living your life. They seem to think that the decisions you are making are the wrong ones or that the things you are doing should be different.

It hurts so badly because they have no idea what you have been going through. They have no idea how hard you have tried to find the right answers and do what is best. No idea how many tears you have already shed or how many prayer you have constantly said. No idea how many sleepless nights you have had.

We all have things so difficult to deal with that we have no idea what to do, so we just do our best. To some our best just isn’t good enough. Even when we lay it at God’s feet and try to have faith there are those who think we should be doing something else.

Unfortunately, some think they have the right to judge. They think that they know things that they don’t actually know at all, things that they could never, ever possibly know without being in your shoes, or in your head, or in your heart; they could never know unless they were living your life.

So after all the tears I see it as a lesson and a blessing. To be reminded to try my best to never think I know someone’s intentions, or motivations, and most especially their heart. It’s impossible to know any of this without being them. I feel grateful to know that there is only one who is qualified to judge; one who is perfect enough to do it. One who suffered all this sorrow for us and with us, so he truly knows how to be the perfect judge. And it isn’t you or I.

God Can Be Found Everywhere ~ Even in Las Vegas

Last July three friends and I took a trip to Las Vegas. While we were there we saw Danny Gans show at the Mirage. I recently heard that he had died. He had been voted Las Vegas Entertainer of the Year 11 times and had won about every other award possible. He hosted a packed house every night. He was a great entertainer who impersonated dozens of singers, entertainers, celebrities, and politicians. His show lasted two hours and was filled with great music and comedy and it was clean too!

My favorite part of his show was at the end. He told his story; how he became an entertainer. He said that he had been a minor league baseball player and was doing great and breaking records when he collided with another player. He received an injury that ended his dream of playing baseball. He ended up in the hospital sharing a room with a man diagnosed with a terminal illness. They shared their stories and the man said that he knew he would personally be okay and that now he understood why he was in the hospital. He felt like it was to let Danny know that God knew how much he loved baseball and that he wouldn’t take that dream from Danny unless he had a better plan for him; a better future. Danny Gans said that this was the beginning of him finding a new dream. The man was healed and they continued exchanging Christmas cards and letters for years.

His message was that if your dreams seem to get shattered or aren’t working out as you had planned, to never give up, because maybe God just has something better planned for you.

He gave credit to God for his success as an entertainer. It was incredible to me that in Las Vegas of all places, this entertainer was not ashamed to be a Christian. Here in a place where so many people don’t seem to know anything of God, he praised God’s name. What a great example to all of us. It made me ask myself, “Would I dare share my testimony of God’s hand in my life, in a place where people mock him?” I believe I would and I hope that the way I live my life shows that I love Him and believe in Him.

A few weeks earlier I heard a speaker give a message that went along with this. She said she felt that God doesn’t just say yes, or no. She believes that when we ask for something he answers yes, not yet, or I have something better in store for you. I loved her thought. I like to believe that when it feels like our prayers aren’t answered the way we had hoped for or when our dreams aren’t fulfilled like we had envisioned they would be, that it doesn’t mean that the answer is no. If we don’t get what we want at first maybe it means that God has something better in store for us. A dream better than we could have ever imagined for ourselves. He knows what we need and what will truly make us happy much better than we do.

God is so wise and great. We just need to let him be the captain and acknowledge that He knows what is best for us. So never give up your dreams, just believe in Him.

Tell Them The Way You Feel

Each year that I have been a leader at girl’s camp I have given the girls a letter from their parents to make them feel special and loved.

One night I gave each of the girls their letters. Some got emotional while others made light of them. Later that evening I found one girl quite emotional. I ask her what was going on and she handed me the letter and ask me to read it. In it her mother told her how much she loved and appreciated her and said how proud she was of the life she was living. She told me that her mother had never told her anything nice like that before and it meant so much to her.

One mother told me thanks for asking her to write a letter to her daughter and said it had really strengthened their relationship. The girl told her mom that she never knew her mom felt that way about her. She wrapped her arms around her mom’s neck and asked her mom to hold her. It had been years since she had done that.

This experience taught me the importance of letting people know how much we love them by saying it and writing it. I’m sure these mothers show their daughters that they love them by their actions but maybe not in spoken or written word that they can easily understand. Everyone has a different way of expressing their feelings, but I learned that kids need to hear it and read it. They don’t always just know how we feel. It’s so important to let our kids know that we love and cherish them and that we are proud of them too.

Relationships

What do you deserve in a relationship?

Someone who:

loves you more than everyone except God...more than friends and more than self...can put you first...thinks of you first when they wake up in the morning and the last thing before they fall asleep at night...needs to hear your voice or see you every day just to be happy...never makes you feel forgotten...can talk about everything instead of avoiding you if they have something difficult to say...someone with no excuses, just the cold hard truth at all times...is faithful in every way and whose actions aren't different if you aren't there to see...would never avoid you and is always available when you need them...would never want to hurt you or let you down...tells the truth instead of just what they think you want to hear...loves you as much as you love them...cares more about your happiness than their own...

Places Where I Should Not Let Me Go

The other day while listening to one of my favorite old James Taylor CD’s, the words of the song, “Something in the Way She Moves” jumped out at me.

“Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning, and I find myself careening into places where I should not let me go. She has the power to go where no one else can find me, yes, and to silently remind me of the happiness and good times that I know…”

One thing about life is that it’s never easy and it’s always changing. It’s true that every now and again the things we lean on, our foundation, gets shaky or crumbles beneath us. Things that we were so sure about yesterday may not feel so certain today. People who have been there for us in the past may not be there for us anymore. In our despair it’s easy to let ourselves careen into places where we should not let ourselves go. These places are different for everyone. We each have our own individual temptations to conquer and crosses to bear. Although we should never let ourselves go these places, sometimes we do.

But like the song says, there is someone in each of our lives who has the power to help us. Someone who loves us deeply enough and knows us well enough to go where no one else would go. And lift us from the rubble we have let ourselves get into or even caused by our own actions. If we will accept their outstretched hand and lean on them, we can again find meaning in life and remember the happiness and good times we have known and eventually get out of the place where we should not have let ourselves go.

"Mom, Do You Like Yourself?"

I have always felt pretty good about who I am as a person. I’m not overly confident, but I do like who I am. One day when my son Ryan was little he came up to me and said, “Mom, do you like yourself? You know you need to like yourself and be your own best friend, because you can never get away from yourself.” What a wise observation for a little child. Ryan was right. We do need to like ourselves because we can never get away from ourselves, at least not for long. We eventually have to admit that there are things we don’t like about ourselves and try to fix them.

I have learned that we can love, serve, try to keep the commandments, and be charitable and honest people. But even with the best of intentions, sometimes we have to admit that we just aren’t as great as we thought we were. It’s hard to admit that we have let someone down or neglected them, sinned, or simply just weren’t as good as we should have been. It’s an ugly realization.

Thank goodness that at these times there is someone who loves us enough to take up the slack for us. God knew when He sent us to earth that there would be times when we just wouldn’t be as strong, or good, or pure as we wanted to be, meant to be.

We can try hard, but sometimes it just isn’t enough. For this purpose God provided a Savior for us who loved us enough to atone for our sins and shortcomings. He has already paid the debt, we just need to believe and accept the gift.

There are times when we must admit that we aren’t as great as we meant to be or thought we were. When we find that we have fallen flat on our face Jesus Christ is there to pick us up, clean us off, and put us back on the path. He can make us whole again and help us to do better and fix what is broken.

Often in my life I have fallen short and had to rely on the merits of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to fill in the gap.

One of my favorite scriptures is Alma 22:18. Aaron was teaching Lamoni’s father about God and how to pray. He then wanted to commit his life to God. In his first prayer he said, “…I will give away all my sins to know thee…” I echo his feelings. I too want to give away all my sins to know Him.